Take a seat.
An ordinary Tuesday
Which day should I do the washing? Which day should I go to the shops?
Questions like these can seem too small to think about carefully. For many people in retirement, they are not small at all.
If income is fixed — savings, interest, superannuation — there is no next pay cheque to absorb a poor choice. Every decision, even an everyday one, uses up money, energy, or time that will not be topped up by next month’s earnings, or even by the next superannuation payment. The day you choose to shop might depend on when a neighbour can drive you, or when a discount applies, or how much the rest of the week has left in it once that day is done.
None of that makes the decision complicated. It makes it worth a moment’s proper thought — the same kind of thought this page is here to help with, whether the decision in front of you is which day to do the washing, or something a great deal larger.
This page, and the worksheets it points to, can help you think more clearly. Neither can make a decision for you, and neither can make a poor decision a wise one — that part is still yours.
Why decisions change in later life
Some decisions arrive without warning. Others announce themselves slowly — a change in health, the loss of a driver’s licence, a partner’s changing needs, a home that has become harder to manage.
Good decisions are rarely about reacting to a crisis. They are usually about noticing a change early enough to think it through calmly, while there is still time to consider it properly.
Three questions are worth asking before almost any decision, large or small:
- What has changed — or what is likely to change in the near future?
- What do I want this part of my life to look like?
- What choices do I actually have?
Money matters — but it is never the whole story
Cost is always worth asking about. It is rarely the only thing worth asking about.
A decision can be affordable and still leave someone lonely, exhausted, or without the help they need. That is not a good decision — it is only a cheap one. A decision that costs a little more but keeps someone connected to family, active in their community, or in charge of their own routine may be the better choice by far.
That is why Jack Lack’s Listening Chair looks at decisions through seven different lenses, not one.
Seven ways of looking at a decision
Every important decision — and plenty of ordinary ones — can be considered through these seven topics:
- Health — Will this help me feel well, safe, and capable?
- Relationships — Will this keep me connected to the people who matter to me?
- Economy — What will this cost now, and what might it cost later?
- Freedom — What choices will this open up, and what choices will it close?
- Authority — Who will make the decisions that follow from this one — will they still be mine?
- Technology — Will I be comfortable with what this decision asks of me?
- Planning — Does this fit the life I am hoping to build?
Freedom and Authority are easy to confuse, but they are not the same. Freedom asks what you are able to do. Authority asks who gets to decide. A retirement village, for example, might offer plenty of activities and company — some freedom — while still setting what’s for dinner and the time dinner is served. Those decisions are no longer yours to make. Neither is wrong but helps to know, before you choose, which is which.
A decision you cannot easily undo
Some decisions are simple to reverse if they turn out to be wrong. Others are not.
Before committing to something significant, it is worth asking:
- If my circumstances change, how easily could I change this decision?
- If my first choice stopped working, what would I do instead?
- If I lived alone rather than as part of a couple, would this still work — financially, and in every other way?
That last question matters more than it might first appear. Costs rarely halve just because a household does. A decision that suits two people comfortably may affect one very differently.
None of this is a reason to avoid commitment. Marriage, moving house, retiring — nearly every decision worth making involves giving something up. The aim is simply to choose with your eyes open, knowing what you are gaining, what you are giving up, and what you would do if things changed.
A tool to help you think it through
Reading this page is a start. When you are ready to think through a decision of your own, step by step, four short Personal Decision Assistant worksheets are waiting for you in Resources:
- One for thinking ahead to the retirement you want.
- One for a decision you are facing right now.
- One for a decision between two clear options.
- One to help you choose the best of three or more clear options
None tells you what to decide. Each is built to help you ask the questions that matter, in an order that makes sense, without asking more of you than a single sitting allows.
Visit Resources to find these worksheets.
Not just for the big decisions
You do not need a crisis, or a major life change, to use this way of thinking. It works just as well for deciding which day to do the washing as it does for deciding whether to move house. The suggestion here is that the more often it is used, the more natural it becomes — not a form to complete under pressure, but a steadier habit of mind to develop for whatever the future brings.
The Personal Decision Assistant worksheets are in Resources, whenever you would like them.
Jack Lack’s Listening Chair is always here, as is your welcome.